Can Money Buy You Happiness?

What makes you a happy person? Do you know what will truly make you happy? One of the biggest challenges you face is actually knowing what it is you want in life and within your relationships, the not knowing can cause your true happiness to elude you. But how can you know what will bring you joy if you haven’t experienced it yet?

I know I’ve heard the saying, “Money can’t buy you happiness” most of my life but the funny thing is, for the life of me, I can’t remember the first time I heard it or who in particular use to say it. It’s just such a common saying I can’t pinpoint it’s origin in my life. There are songs written, movie plots to depict how far south a person life can go if their only focus in life is the acquisition of money but… if money cant buy you happiness why are we seeking it with such passion and desperation?

Is it money you seek or what you believe having money will give you? Have you ever really thought about it? Let’s take a moment and explore this concept. What can money buy you? New clothes, a new home, better health care, a new car, money can put food on your table, heat or cool your home, money can give you freedom to go where you want, when you want, and with whom you want. What else can money bring to your life? Money can give you more time to spend with loved ones, more time for traveling, more time to focus on a hobby, developing your skill at one of your favorite sports, taking yoga, or some other form of physical, spiritual, or psychological development.

Money opens doors and creates possibilities so why is money demonized? Why are we told as children and believe as adults that money can’t buy us happiness?  This is a powerful question and a area we simply don’t discuss enough and I want you to tell me why money can’t buy you happiness? Or can money buy you happiness? If money won’t buy you happiness what will bring you the happiness you seek?

Kill Robin Hood

In January of this year I told myself, “Janine it’s time for you to step up! You would never let your clients get away with this so get to it!” Much to my  personal astonishment I finished the first full draft in a matter of weeks. At a certain point, I’m not quite sure when, the book simply began to write itself! I had done over a dozen rewrites when it occurred to me, “I need to get feedback from a group of people to see if I’m on the right track” and this is what you are looking at here in the answers to this post.

I asked a few dozen people to read the book and come here to answer the questions listed below. I also offered an extra credit assignment to a college course I’m teaching if they read the book and answer the questions.  The college students are providing the vast majority of the responses to book review. I think the college students were more comfortable with posting on the computer and over coming any technical difficulties.  At the time of the main entries this post was password protected because I had a copy of the unfinished manuscript of the book for review and I have since taken it down and made this page public.

I will be doing my final rewrite today, March 4, 2013, and sending the book off to the editor and publishing house for the final phase of development! I’m very excited to have my first book almost there. This book is the first of 5 books that are specifically designed to help you change your relationship with money and transform your life. I believe as we transform our lives as individuals we can transform our country! One person at a time!

These are the questions people answered after reading the book:

1. Was there any area of the book you found confusing? If so please list the chapter, page and paragraph.
2. At any time while reading the book did you get bored? If so please list the chapter, page, and paragraph where you lost interest.
3. At anytime reading the book did you have a strong emotional reaction ie become angry, feel motivated, outraged, inspired? If so please list chapter, page, section.
4. What did you enjoy most about the book?
5. What did you enjoy least about the book?
6. Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?
7. What do you think about the Action Steps?
8. Did this book leave you wanting more? If so what actions are you willing to take to get more information from the author?
9. Would you take live or online training programs associated to this book? Why or why not?
10. Do you feel an online workbook to support the Actions steps of this book would be helpful? Why or Why not?
11. Bonus question… please feel free to share your overall thoughts and feelings about the book!

A side note about the book: the book will be fully illustrated with funny pictures in front of each chapter to ease the Killing of a childhood Icon.

I was inspired to write this post when Yvonne said “we are basiclly lazy”.  Yvonne is  an incredible business woman who has developed a successful online company where she offers the services of a virtual assistant and in doing so I know she consistently encounters professionals who know what they want but are struggling to atulize their outcome and in Yvonne’s comment she included herself in the group of folks she thinks are or can be, at times, lazy.

Now that said, the problem with this is two fold. Is it a common misconception to believe that people are or can be lazy. I personal do not believe there is a man or a woman on this planet that is actually lazy.  I believe they are simply uninspired.  People who appear to be lazy are fearful, unsure of themselves, and feel safer doing nothing then actually taking the risk of action.  The only thing I have found in my three decades of exploring why people do what they do is to get a person to take a new action they must be inspired to the point of no return!

When a person has decided not one more day! This is when they act. Therefore the questions bodes how do you get yourself to the point of “I won’t take one more day of this and from this moment on things will be different? There is a basic formula that you can use to move yourself to action and one of the keys to forward movement is to acknowledge that you are not where you actually want to be. There will be no movement until you get to this point. BUT acknowledging you are not where you want to be is only part of the equation… lets break it down into 5 phases:

Phase 1 – Precontemplation: in this phase you are not even entertaining the idea of making any changes. You may know you are broke, overweight, or that some portion of your life is out of control or not what you want but you are not even thinking about doing anything about it. You are in the limbo of mediocrity.

Phase 2 – Contemplation: in this phase you have decided something is wrong and you are going to fix it next week. Or some other date off in the distant future. So many people live here.  I will start eating right on Monday, after my birthday, the first of the year. Or I will take that trip once the kids are in grade school, high school, graduate, are off to college, when I retire. Or I will start my own business when the economy turns around, we have a new president, when I’m 50… you get the picture.

Someone looking at the life of another person in either one of these phases might think thoes people are lazy, lack motivation, are all talk, or are dreamers that will never do or amount to anything. But what I see when I talk to people in this phase is fear and lack of commitment to their idea of what they want. So many of us say or think we want something because of outside influences instead of inner passions or personal drive. When you say you want something that you personally don’t really identify with you will sit in these phases for months or even years!

When you go deeper and uncover what it is that YOU want or need this is when the magic happens! This is when you can’t stand it any longer this is when you are moved, inspired, and energized to take action!

Phase 3 – Action: in this phase you have moved into action. If you decided to lose weight you have joined the gym, cleared out the less then healthy food choices from your kitchen, and began taking the necessary steps toward the health and fitness level you want. If it’s a business you wanted to start you have come up with a name for your company, got your business licence, began looking for the funds you need, and are currently working on your marketing plan to name  a few of the action steps you need to get you on your way to accomplishing what you want!

The first three steps are easy enough and simple but the next two steps is where it gets tricky and what you need to master to turn your new positive behavior into an old habit!

Phase 4 - Relapse: this is where you have been in the action phase for some time, could be weeks or months, you have experienced significant results toward you goal and for whatever reason you fall back into your preaction behavior.  This can mean many things… full blown relapse is you are back in your precontemplation phase. You have given up and aren’t even planing to get back on track of your goals. You might relapse into the contemplation phase. Let’s say you have lost 20 lbs and your goal is to lose 35 lbs. You have gone to a wedding and over indulged, you have a birthday coming up in two days, and an anniversary the following week and you have decided to get back on track after your anniversary. This is fine as long as you keep your focus and follow through with your plans.

Phase 5 - Maintenance: this is the key to all of your future success and this is where you turn a new positive behavior into an old habit. The maintenance stage is where you continue to do the new behaviors that got you to your goal. For example with the weight loss. You started exercising at least 3 days a week, you now snack on fruit instead of chips or crackers, you drink water instead of soda or juice, just to name a few of the changes you made to lose the weight. The key is to continue this behavior and make it your new norm.

Where people fail is they think once they lose the weight or achieve whatever their goals is they can revert to the behavior or habits they had before the changes.  And this is where the failure comes in. The changes or the new behavior is what got you to your goal. The old behavior is what was causing the weight gain or the lack of money or whatever area you decided you wanted to change. If you want to keep the weight off, if you want to continue to save your money and create wealth you MUST make your new positive behavior an old habit through the maintenance stage. You simply maintain your new behavior and the more you do it the more it will become second nature and before you know it it’s your new positive behavior has turned into an old habit!

What do you need to change in your your life? Are you ready to make that change right now? What two steps can you do in the next 20 minuets to move you toward that change?

It’s 4:00 am and I can’t sleep! I was watching Johnathan Fields new show yesterday, the “Good Life Project” and he had Dan Ariely on as his guest. If you are not familiar with Dan he has written several books about why people do what they do and how to change their behavior. One of my personal favorites is “Predictably Irrational” an absolute MUST read! But as I’m lying in bed unable to sleep I can’t help but wonder “WHY”!

Why is it as human beings we are so irrational and out of control? I’ve actually been wondering this since I was 5 years old. Why on earth do we do the things we do? If you look at the full spectrum of human behavior it spans from monstrous cruelty to angelic compassion and everything in between. I personally have a love hate relationship with humanity.

There are times that I am so inspired and moved by the love, compassion, and kindness of people my heart overflows with enthusiasm and joy to be around others. And then there are those times that I feel so much hate and remorse I don’t know how I can stand another moment of this existence. Fortunately for me the later is far less often and if I simply avoid the news and submerse myself in nature, playing with my dogs, and talking with a loving friend it passes and only serves to inspire me to do the work I do.

Which brings me to the point of my restlessness, why is it like taking medicine for us to take the daily steps we need to take to get what we really want in life? We will do anything to avoid doing what we know will truly make us happy, why do you think that is? Let me give you some examples; losing weight and having more money. Both powerful issues and two areas of our live that for all intents and purposed if we were to get a grip on would completely change the quality of our lives and increase our lifespan yet we struggle with both on extreme levels.

Lets start with weight loss. As a nation, and unfortunately it’s spreading around the world, we are simply FAT! Obesity is the fastest growing epidemic in American and it spans all cultures, socioeconomic groups, and ages. Losing weight is simple. It’s not rocket science. Do more eat less. Eat foods that are as close to their natural state as possible. Example it’s better to eat an orange then it is to drink orange juice and even worse to drink an orange like substance.

Any 5th grader can figure it out. We make it complicated because it makes us feel better about our apparent lack of discipline but I think the truth of the matter is we are actually scared. Besides all the propaganda about the many reasons we are getting fatter and fatter every day I think we are simply  afraid of actually having what we say we want. Think about it for a minuet. If you see a pair of shoes you want or some eltronic gadget or something else you decide you must have don’t you make sure you get it? No matter how long it takes you or what you have to do you do it so you can have the object you have “decided” you want. You know I’m right!

How many times have you spent money you didn’t have on something you didn’t need simply because you wanted it. Well why is it then you don’t lose weight or have that million dollars you say you want? Is it because you really don’t want to or you associate more pain with doing what it takes to acquire it then you do pleasure with actually having “it”? “It” being a healthy weight level or having the money you need to life the lifestyle you want or anything else for that matter.

You associate more pain with eating right or not spending money you don’t have then you associate pleasure with having a strong fit body or money in the bank. I think there are two reasons for this; you are afraid you will lose your friends and you are afraid you will fail.  If you change the lifestyle you currently have and become more active, change the restaurants your frequent, and the things you do for fun the current people in your life might not want to do these new things and you may lose them as your friends, lovers, or romantic partners. And two what if you try to make the changes and you fail? Then what?

Why do you avoid doing the things you know you need to do to get what you want? Most of us know how to do it, lose weight or save money we’ve done it in the past… but why aren’t you doing it today? What two things can you change in your life today that will move you closer to getting what you want?

How do you spend your money within your relationship?

The lack of money is the symptom of the underlying problems. The main issue here is power and control. To give you an example: the most common cause of fighting in relationships about money, besides the obvious of not having it, is how to spend the money you do have. This is a fundamental issue of values not money. Let’s say I value having a savings fund in case of an unexpected expence. I simply want a few thousand dollars to sit in the bank in case the house needs a new roof, there are plumbing problems, one of the cars need repair or some other sudden need for liquid funds and my partner thinks we should be spending this money on incidentals or to take a vacation.

For me it threatens my feelings of safety and my partner might think I’m being cheap, selfish, overly cautious, or unfair and I think my partner is unrealistic, frivolous, and selfish with no impulse control. Both people may begin to lose respect for each other and resent each others perspective because it blocks their desire and or need to save or spend.

The person who wants to spend the money might be dealing with a power struggle of wanting to have the freedom to spend their money in any way they see fit without having to answer to another person. This might bring up issues from a previous romantic relationship or childhood memories of similar struggles and their need for independence and self expression is pushing them to want to spend spend spend. The reality is this is not a money issue it’s a values issue. It has to do with what or how each partner places value and how they choose to spend their hard earned cash.

Depending on the circumstances both partners could be wrong or both could be right and this is where their ability to talk about their money is so very important.  Both have valid views of what they want and need from their money but they are not talking to each other and discussing why they want what they want because more often then not they don’t know “why” they just want it. This is why we must also know what we want and why so we can articulate to our partners what our needs and want’s are.

The constant fighting over when and how to spend your money wears down the love you share, it effects the level of respect you have for each other, and whether you feel heard and understood by your partner. Fighting for extended periods of time will kill the love and end the marriage. The reality is it more then the money that’s ending the marriage it’s a difference in values, feeling disrespected and unappreciated because of the fights around the money, and feelings of fundamental safety needs.

There are two things you can do to overcome this problem:

1. You can overcome this difference in the selection process of a mate. When you are dating, in the first few months, you see your partner can not manage finances in a way that is suitable to you you can decide it’s simply not a good fit and continue your search. (There is nothing wrong with doing this in fact you are saving  yourself and your partner years of heartache. You would do the same thing if it were another issue say you want kids and they don’t, or they don’t want pets and you do, or you like to travel the world and their idea of traveling is going to the corner market.)

2. You’ve already married or are engaged to marry a person who have completely different values in regards to money then it’s time to enlist the assistance of a professional. I recommend you get a coach or therapist to help you talk through your differences, take courses on financial planing, and teach each other the value of saving with moderation. It’s one thing to have a sound financial portfolio and another thing entirely to stop living your life because you are afraid.

Where have you had trouble in your relationship about where and how to spend money?

How many times have you made a purchase based on the price of the item? Do you always weigh the price of the item or service before you purchase it? Have you ever done a price verses cost analysis before purchasing an item? Until recently I didn’t really understand or consider the reality of price verses cost, I had heard the term before but it didn’t really sink in until I began to change my relationship with money. Let’s take a look…

Price Verses Cost : For those of you who aren’t familiar with the concept of price verses cost or haven’t been inspired to apply it to your own life yet lets break it down and really look at how you make your purchasing decisions. I will give you two examples and begin with a story I was listening to Zig Ziglar tell about price verse cost. Zig was telling a story of buying a bike for his son in the 70′s. There was a Schwinn bicycle  for $64.95 which was a great deal of money at the time for a child’s bike and there was also another brand of bicycle that was only $34.95 and he and his wife decided to purchase the cycle with the lower price.

Turned out they had to replace the handle bars within the first month of their son riding the bicycle and again in the second month and the price for the handle bars were $9.99 each time. They had to replace the rim of one of the tires on the third month $12.95 and by month six the bike needed a new sprocket for $50.00. Instead of replacing the sprockets Zig and his wife bought their son the Schwinn bicycle at $64.95 and their son rode the second bicycle for ten years.  It turned out the bicycle that appeared to be priced less ended up costing them more then the bicycle with what appeared to be the higher price. The bicycle with the higher price ended up actually costing less. The price of the first bicycle was $34.95 and their son used the bicycle for six months at a cost of $11.31 per month. The second bicycle with the price of $64.95 the child rode for ten years with a cost of $6.49 per year.

Another example I can use from my personal experience is purchasing a sweater. Something many of us if not all of us buy each and every year. A few years ago, before I began applying the prices verses cost in my own life, remembering that I never bought anything for myself if it wasn’t on sale, I had bought four sweaters at a significantly discounted price two at $15.99 and two at $19.99 the highest original price of these sweaters was $39.99 for a total price of $71.96 I got four sweaters and was quite proud of myself. Keep in mind these sweaters were on the sale rack and it took me two hours of digging through endless piles of clothes to find these four sweaters. I was able to wear these sweaters for only one season because as I washed them they lost their shape, faded in color, and developed sweater balls.

That same year a friend had purchased a sweater for me as a gift, with the price tag of $119.99 (they forgot to remove the tag). I have worn this sweater for five seasons and it is in pristine condition. It looks the same today as it did the day I took it out of the box and it is one of my favorite sweaters. I wear it on a weekly basis when the weather is cold. In fact I wear that one sweater far more in the season then I wore all four of the other sweaters combined.  It turns out the sweaters priced at a low dollar amount ended up costing me far more than the sweater at the higher amount. Had I continued to by discounted sweaters over a period of four years it would have cost me $359.80 in cash and wasted an additional eight hours of my time digging through sale bins, if I were to take into consideration my hourly rate had I been seeing clients for that eight hour time period instead of digging through sales piles the cost of those sweaters would be obscene!

I have come to terms with the reality that I do in fact get what I pay for. The goods and services with a higher price tag end up costing me far less over time and quality is of far greater value to me than quantity. It was a hard and very costly lesson and it took me to view my experiences from many different perspectives before I came to terms with the true meaning of price verses cost. I imagine you might need a bit more to process this concept as well so I will continue to post more about price verses cost.

As you begin to apply this principle you will save yourself thousands of dollars each year as you begin to make more strategic purchase when you weigh the true value of price verses cost of both the small and large ticket items you purchase.

P.S. I spent several hours searching the internet trying to find a video that talked about price verses cost and this was the closest thing I could find to our conversation here… I guess I will need to make a video for this topic and place it on my YouTube channel. I will let you know when I do! This video will give you an interesting break down of how price verses cost impacts the food we eat, it is quite interesting!

The Hunger Games (Wikipedia)

March madness has come and just about gone. We have 3 days left of the 3rd month of the year and we are coming to the end of the first quarter of 2012. If your anything like me, and I imagine you are, you had high hopes for 2012. I bet at the beginning of this year you sat and thought about all the wonderful things you were going to accomplish this year and how this year was going to be “different” then last year or the year before. Different because this year you had decided you were going to actually DO the things you have been saying you wanted to DO.

Maybe you want to write the great American novel, start your own business, lose weight, finally find the perfect romantic partner, learn a new language, get out of debt, save for that trip you have always wanted to take, or simply have a few minutes in the day for yourself to unwind. The list of possibilities are endless of what you might like to change or the new experiences you would like to have…

Most folks talk about goal setting and planning in the beginning of they year but I like to wait until the end of the first quarter because this is when you need my help. The first part of the year you have thousands of people talking about goal setting and planning but by mid February they have left you to your own devices. They give you a few tips and pointers. State your goals in the positive, make them obtainable, set a date or time line for the completion of your goals, write them down then they disappear no more discussion or follow up to see how your doing …

I’m here not only to follow up with you on how you are doing but I want to help you make this year the year you actually DO whatever it is you want. Now that the hype is gone and all the cheerleaders have gone home you are left holding the bag of uncompleted goals. I want to help you with 3 simple tips that will refocus and direct your energy and attention to get back on track or on target as I like to call them.

• Tip #1 STOP CALLING THEM GOALS! I know when you hear the work goals something in your body tightens and you scream in your own mind if not out loud “NO” not again! Goals can be too big and overwhelming so we are going to make them smaller and change the name to Targets.  Think of a archer taking aim at a point of interest or for you something you want, with clarity of focus, simply pulling back on the bow and releasing the arrow straight through your result. Think of that new movie just out last week “The Hunger Games” and how amazing they are with the bow and arrow.

• Tip #2 MAINTAIN A CLEAR FOCUS ON YOUR END RESULT! To do this you must know what it is you truly want! Take Katniss for example, the heroine in the movie “The Hunger Games” the only way this girl survives is through her determination and crystal clear vision of what she feels she MUST DO to get the end result she is longing for. Which is to stay alive and return to her sister. She is hungry for her result and that hunger comes from clarity of vision or purpose. It is imperative for you to know what it is you want without doubt or hesitation. Only once you are crystal clear will you have the determination to follow through regardless of the difficulties.

• Tip #3 DON’T GIVE UP! So what if you are three months into the year and you haven’t done what you said you were going to do! Don’t beat yourself up about it. You can’t do anything about the past, you can hope for the future, but one thing you actually have control over is this very moment! The reality of your experiences is based on what you do right now! Even the fact that you have read this post all the way to completion says you are interested in making today different from yesterday and you are ready to redirect your focus, you are ready to take aim at your target! So as our good friends at Nike say “Just Do It” and stop feeling guilty about what you didn’t do yesterday, or worrying about what may or may not be tomorrow, and direct your attention on one thing you can do right now that will put you in alignment to hitting your target!

When you met your partner you were swept away by the romance and excitement of this amazing person you decided you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. When you are first in the throughs of romance the little things like, money, seem inconsequential. After all money can’t “buy you love” and “love is all you need”, right? WRONG! The number 1 reason for divorce in America today is actually money problems. Have you read the book, “The Millionaire Next Door“? The deciding factor that makes or breaks a family from accumulating any type of substantial wealth is the spending habits of your spouse.

If you are mindful of how you spend and invest your money but your partner or spouse has a different agenda it can not only cause disruption in your relationship it can and does effect your sex life, your respect for your partner, and your desire to spend quality time with them, eventually leading severe debt, bankruptcy, and even to divorce. The most important and powerful thing you can do for your relationship is to TALK ABOUT MONEY!

The most important thing to remember when having this conversation is it’s not really about the money but what the money means to you and what you believe it can bring to your life. In general Americans have a very distorted relationship with money. We have an overall belief that it’s not ok for money to be important to us, that we are shallow if we place too much emphasis on the importance of money, it is a deeply held belief that putting to much emphasis on money makes us a bad person. This is supported through our religion that says, “money is the root of all evil” and through the paradigm of the Robing Hood fable “steel from the rich to give to the poor and the concept that rich people are inherently bad.”

The reality is the religious saying is actually “the love of money is the root of all evil” not money itself. The love of money is the obsession of acquiring as much money as possible at any cost simply for the sake of having money. Having money doesn’t make you a bad person and it doesn’t make you greedy what it does do is give you freedom. The more financially secure you are the more options you have available to you and your family or the people in your life that you love.

There are a few areas you need to explore before you begin having the conversation with your loved ones about money:

1. Uncover your personal beliefs about money. Do you feel guilty about wanting more money, spending money on yourself, or what may be considered “depriving” your family members from spending money on things that are not necessities?
2. Does it make you uncomfortable to talk about money? If so why do you think that is?
3. Do you know what type of lifestyle you would like to have and how much money it will take to allow you to afford this lifestyle?

I recommend you begin to think about these areas before you talk with your partner and as you and your partner begin to explore these basic concepts while talking about them with each other you can uncover together your personal hopes and dreams for the future. Having this conversation can assist you in planing for the future and growing together as a couple instead of growing apart or not growing at all!

Answering these questions together after first exploring them individually can bring passion and excitement into your relationship that has been lacking or dwindling due to frustration over the security of your future. There is much much more to talking about money with your partner and your family. These few suggestions are a great jumping off point to get the conversation started! I have put together a series of programs to assist you through this difficult process allowing you to come out on the other end thriving as a couple and a family! And to put you on the path to financial security!

You can explore these porgram on my serivces page and in the mean time begin the process of thinking about what money means in your life and open up a dialouge with your partner and share you expeirnece with us here! If your not quite ready to talk to your partner and want to explore yoru toughts nore before you share them with your spouce feel free to begin your exploration right here by sharing with us on this blog. I’m exicted to hear your thought, hopes, and dreams so feel free to share! Looking forward to sharing this journey with you!

enthusiastically Yours, Janine

You can make our dream a reality or you can keep wishing, which is it going to be?

Today is Martin Luther King Jr Day, King memorialized the phrase “I have a DREAM!”  I believe one of the reason this statement has been so powerful over the years is because of how much we have a personal association to his words, “I have a dream,” because YOU DO have a dream! I know I have a dream! In fact I have quite a few dreams and have had both success and failure in my attempts to make my dreams a reality!

Today is also January 16, 2012. We are now officially halfway through the fist month of the year. I sat down in the beginning of the this year and wrote down some of the steps I need to take to turn a few of my dreams into a reality. It’s only been two weeks and I’m already off my targeted goals. To give you an example I needed to write 3 chapters a week for this entire month to hit my goal of completing my book by a specific date for the editing and graphic design to be completed and ready for publishing. So far I have written 4 chapters in two weeks and I’m going into this week two chapters behind my goal!

I know you are in the same boat I am but with a different target, of course. Maybe you told yourself you were going to eat “healthy” or you would exercise 3-6 days a week and you haven’t followed through. The first two months of the year are key to whether or not you keep on target, stray from your target, or give up entirely. So far I’ve strayed from my target and I the way I see it I have 3 choices:

1. I can get back on target. I can look at where in my week I can create the time to write two additional chapters putting me back on my initial target of 3 chapters a week.
2. I can adjust my target in one of two ways. I could aim for 3 chapters this week and the following weeks simply adding one additional week at the back end of my schedule. Or I could reevaluate my initial target and decide 3 chapters a week is simply not realistic but I am easily able to complete 2 chapters per week and will adjust my completion date accordingly.
3. Or I could simply give up and call myself a failure. Remind myself this is just one of the many other things I can add to my list that I said I was going to do but simply haven’t done. I could give up.

Which one of these choices are you going to chose for the area where you missed your target and have strayed from accomplishing your Dream? I’m going to go for #2 myself. I’m going to aim for 3 chapters this week and continue at that rate and if I find it difficult to complete 3 I already know I can do 2 so I will simply readjust my target and ending date.

The most important thing to keep in mind when you decide you want to make changes in your behaviors that are going to result in long term results is the fact that we are changing habits. And sometimes we have had these habits for decades and it takes more then 2 weeks to change a habit and to establish new habits. It actually takes 25 days to create a new habit so give yourself a break and learn from the past two weeks instead of beating yourself up for not sticking to something you initially said you would do.

Remember sometimes we shoot too high and have unrealistic expectations of ourselves. Cut yourself some slack but not TOO MUCH SLACK! Don’t give up!

Here are 4 things that might be keeping you from your dream or hitting your target:

1. You are so focused on the how your forgot about the why. Sometime when you have a big target or dream like publishing a book, losing 50+ lbs, or starting your own business you can get so caught up on how your going to do these things you aren’t focusing on the why and it’s the why that will give you the drive to keep going when the going gets tough and it will get tough! Redirect your attention on what writing every day, working out every day, or putting together your business plan will bring to your life once you’ve complete these things. This way your not looking at exercise as a tedious task you must preform but more as a way for good health and happy relationships because you feel good about yourself!
2. Procrastinating! Stop putting off for tomorrow that which you need to do today! Let’s use my writing for an example the only reason I got two chapters written each week is because I got up first thing in the morning for the first three days of both weeks and wrote and the off thing was as the week went on I thought to myself, “I’ve already done more than half I can sleep in and do it later in the day. Well as you can see I didn’t do it later in the day and here I am two chapter short! It takes more time and energy avoiding doing what needs to be done then it does actually doing the task. The fix is to just do it! Schedule the time and commit to it! Once you’ve done it it feels so much better! To do this it’s easier when you remember why your doing it in the first place… just a little hint!
3. Stop thinking so much! It’s not rocket science it’s simply changing a few behaviors don’t over think it! Over thinking it is just another way of avoid doing what needs to be done to get what you want. Again one of the best ways to stop the over thinking is to focus on why you want to do this in the first place. When u think about how doing the task is going to change your life and all the benefit that will come form the end result you stop over thinking the why and the how and your began to just do it! And before you know it you’ve done it!
4. Don’t look at it as a resolution! Even the word resolution is a buz kill! It’s like saying, “OK I don’t really want to do this but I resolve to do it anyway because I think I should but I really don’t want to! “This is why I use the work “target”. I’m aiming for a target and that target is a, b, or c. My underlying motivation is to get what I want and I call what I want a target because the words resolution and goal have been so over used and have such a negative association it’s like nails on a chalkboard so instead I’m Hitting My Target! 

You are at the beginning of what has the possibility to be an amazing year… BUT this year can only give you what you ask of it! You have the power to make this year THE YEAR! It’s completely up to you. It’s my intention to guide, direct, and challenge you through this year supporting you in turning your wishes into dreams and your dreams into realities! BUT FOR ME TO HELP YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT YOU MUST TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED!  Take a moment and share with me your thoughts and struggles so far this year or even past struggles that might causing you to hesitate moving forward this year and together we will make this year the year you make your dream real!

What is your dream?

For more reading on how to move yourself forward check out Bea Fields post Make Your Dreams Come True-in-2012

Many of you are very familiar with my journey across America in 2010 while I was on Janine’s God Bless America Tour where I traveled for 36 days across America covering 6,228 miles, 21 states, and 9 major cities interviewing hundreds of people along the way asking them 4 specific questions, the main question being, “What can you do as an individual on a daily basis to make America a better place?” I interviewed hundreds of people and had an amazing and awe inspiring experience! You can see some of the interviews Janine’s God Bless America Tour.

Traveling across America was one to the most incredible experiences of my life. I came home a changed woman and a determined woman. The problem was I lacked direction. I had all of this information yet I was unsure what to do with it or how to implement what I had learned into a tangible service to help you change your life.

I came up with the idea of creating a grassroots social movement to Make America A Better Place One Person at a Time called Awakening the Voice of America but over the past year I have realized as amazing as this vision is I needed to break it down further, make it smaller, something that you can sink their teeth into and apply to daily living to improve the quality of your life and give you more personal freedom. Freedom is what America is all about and we can all use more time to do the things we love to do with the people we love and I’ve dedicated my professional services to supporting and guiding you in doing just that!

Toward the end of 2011 I broke it down to three things we need to change most in America or our 3 biggest problems:
1. We are the fattest nation in the world
2. We struggle with our ability to be in relationship and set boundaries and in asking for what we want and need.
3. We have a horrible relationship with money are we are in debt and have little to no idea how to create real wealth in our lives.

I developed my determination while I was traveling across country despite the countless people telling me I was crazy and it was dangerous for a woman to make that trip alone, I demonstrated drive in my searching for 2 years to find just the right combination of what you truly need to experience personal freedom and the venue to present you what you need for you to get the best and fastest results possible. But I was still lacking direction until I broke it down to these three areas and I have picked the area that I know I can best serve you in and the area that will make the BIGGEST difference in your life and that is your relationship with money.

We are going to hit the ground running in 2012 by changing your relationship with money so that you will have the financial security you need to create the personal freedom you long for! The freedom to spend more time doing the things you love to do. The freedom to spend more time with the people you love. The freedom to uncover your personal passion and release your creativity. The freedom to see the places you have always wanted to see but just didn’t have the money. The freedom and security to work where you want to work instead of taking what you can get because you need the money.

True freedom of self expression comes with having the financial security to do what you want, when you want, and how you want to do it!

How are we going to make this happen?
1. Direction: we must first uncover exactly what you want to create in your life. You MUST have a target an end result in mind to aim for to keep you motivated to do whatever it takes to get you where you want to be.
2. Drive: once you have direction you will experience a new found motivation and passion to move forward toward your target. You will experiences enthusiasm, joy, and clarity of focus you never imagined you had once you have connected with your VERY SPECIFIC target.
3. Determination: there will be obstacles blocking you from hitting your target, this is a given. But with clear direction and a strong drive you will have the determination you need to overcome any and all obstacles blocking your path or preventing you from hitting your target.

I have THE program that is absolutely going to blow your mind and skyrocket you to financial freedom! I’m going to announce all the juicy details and you don’t want to miss any of them! I will be sharing all the details and giving my loyal readers special offers which will be hidden in the blog post for the months of January and February!

Make sure you don’t miss any of it by subscribing to my feed and join my mailing list! Do is right now so you don’t forget!