In the recent release of my book Kill Robin Hood ~ The surprising truth about what it really takes to get rich, we explore the concept of having villains in our life that are blocking our success.
One of the main premise in the book Kill Robin is the fact that, here in America, there are no unseen forces of rich people trying to keep you down personally. We explore the reality that for most of us we are our own worst enemy and we are keeping ourselves down with the stories we tell ourselves and the world about who we are and how we move through the world.
Stories that may have helped us cope with various levels of stress or traumas of life that may have worked well in the past but are keeping us from getting what we want today and keeping us from creating the future we long to experience. I talk about how to identify your villains and what to do about them once you identify them and would like to expand on the conversation of the book. (If you haven’t read the book yet you can get your copy by clicking on the image of the book.)
In the book I use the concept “villains” as a metaphor of the things or people who may be hindering or blocking you from identifying what will truly make you happy and creating a clear and specific plan of action to move you toward creating the life you envision.
I want to make it perfectly clear that even though we are using the term “villain” it is NOT ok to take drastic action to eliminate or harm someone you are identifying as a “villain.” (Some people have true villains in their life that are abusive and emotionally or physically harming them. In this case I urge you to seek support via law enforcement, social services, or confiding in people who can help you get to safety.)
That said, for the rest of us I want to urge you not to harm or unnecessarily strain your relationships by telling your parents, siblings, or spouse/partner they are a villain because they won’t let you have what you want. As tempting as it may be even if you are saying it in good fun and playing with them it can be hurtful and create a wedge in your relationship. We don’t want that.
The purpose if using the term villain is to motivate you into taking action as you clearly identifying what is holding you back. And it is very poignant in association with the concept of Killing Robin Hood.
Let’s explore three ways you can go deeper in your quest for identifying and removing your villains:
1. Identify what you want your life to be: In order for you to reveal what is actually holding your back you must identify what you want or where you want your life to be. Let’s use fitness as an example: if you want to change your fitness level you must first identify what level of fitness you actually want. Do you want to be stronger, leaner, firmer, bigger, defined, have more stamina?
If you want more stamina you would be doing very different exercise and eating different food then you would if you wanted to get bigger and build large mussels. Uncovering what you need to do to get what you want will also reveal what you are doing that is blocking your success. If you want to become more lean you would eat less and if you want to build bulk you would be eating more.
So if you are looking to become more lean and your a late night grazer then your villain or what is blocking your success is late night grazing. If that late night grazing is triggered by your room-mate or spouse’s eating then you might categorize them both as villains. The reality is, however, you are the only person responsible for your actions. Even if they are eating in front of you and tempting you, you have the power and control in your own life to say no or to choose a healthy snack that will move you toward what you want instead of blocking your success.
You have the power and this is the whole point of Killing Robin Hood, BUT you will only be able to access this power in times of temptation if you have your eye on the bigger picture. Knowing what you want will give you the motivation you need to maintain your personal motivation.
2. Clarify where you are now and why your not moving forward: Now that you have identify what it is you want it’s time to look at where you are right now! How far are you from what or where you want your life to be? For most of us we know what it is we need to do to get what we SAY we want but for whatever reason we simply aren’t following through and doing it on a daily basis.
We might do it for a few days, a few weeks, and sometimes we will do what needs to be done for months yet for whatever reason we start to drop the ball and before we know it we have lost all of the headway we had made and were are back where we started from. This can leave us disheartened and full of despair. We begin to think its us and although we know others who have done what we want we just can’t seem to get there. Sometime we tell ourselves it’s, “it’s me I just can’t do it” but even when we say this to ourselves we know that’s not true.
What is it that you are not doing that you know will get you where you want to be? Why aren’t you doing it?
3. What are you willing to do to get that which you SAY you want?: It’s time to become brutally honest with yourself. Why aren’t you doing what you know you need to do to get what you SAY you want? Is it because you don’t really want it? Are you saying you want things because you think you should, because they are part of the status quo yet in your heart of hearts you really don’t want to be or do these things?
If this is the case free yourself, give yourself permission to say no I don’t want to do or be these things. Be honest with yourself about who you are and what you truly want. BUT if the truth is you actually DO want to do or be what you have been SAYING you want why aren’t you stepping up?
Are you afraid of failure? Are you afraid of success? Or is the whole prospect so daunting you just can’t seem to get started? Any or all of the issues in these questions can be eating away at you or simply stopping you dead in your tracks.
This is why I have created my Declare Your Financial Independence Training Program to give you the support, guidance, and help you tap into unprecedented levels of motivation to make this time different. To make this time the time you not only follow through to creating what you want but you will also have the clarity of vision to maintain your transformation allowing you to live a life of your very own personal design while you remove your villains along the way.
Share your struggle with me, let me know what has worked for you and where you get stuck.